


I'm The Only One

by Madjai6



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, Jealous Lexa, My OC is so sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-22 16:31:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3735856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madjai6/pseuds/Madjai6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Sky People and Grounders brought the mountain down together. Clarke tell's Lexa that she's ready. Lexa tells Clarke that a relationship isn't possible and that her duty to her people comes first. Clarke gets closer to another of the 100 in her absence and when Lexa returns she doesn't like what she finds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn’t get this idea out of my head today so I figured I would put it in a story. It was going to be a one shot but I’m going to turn it into two. In this story Lexa didn’t betray Clarke on the mountain but she did decide that she didn’t have time for a relationship. She kind of blew Clarke off for her duties now that they are in times of peace and have to rebuild. Kind of a spin on her head over heart routine. And there’s a beautiful OC. :)

It had been 2 months since the Sky People and the Grounders had taken down the mountain. All seemed to be right in the world. To Clarke’s surprise there was a large number of volunteers to donate bone marrow to the innocent mountain people, the children and the people who helped the 100. Abby had successfully performed the bone marrow transplants and they were living safely in Camp Jaha. The grounders weren’t very happy about it but they knew that it was important to the Sky people and it wasn’t worth a fight after such a big battle. Jasper was thrilled to have Maya with him.

Clarke would never forget how the mountain people reacted when they first walked out of the mountain. She knew that feeling well, there’s nothing like experiencing Earth for the first time. The smell or fresh air, the sounds of nature, it was so beautiful, and something that can only truly be understood by being there. Pictures and movies just don’t do it justice. 

Lincoln had been accepted right away. Him and Octavia were both working in the guard, leading hunting parties and protecting the border. After the war Abby had realized how much she didn’t want to be a leader and had taken her position as full time doctor back. She left it to Clarke, Bellamy, and Kane. They were an excellent working team. Clarke had the strength, Kane had the experience, and Bellamy had the authority. 

Octavia had even pulled Clarke away on a hunting trip to explain to her that she understood her decision and that she was sorry about how she treated her. She knew that it couldn’t have been an easy decision to make. The mountain men would have found her brother and launched the missile anyways, and who knows how many other they had. It was good to get her friend back, and even better to have someone tell her that she made the right choice. It had been eating her up for some time. 

It would appear that everything was in a good place, everyone was happy. The grounders and Sky people still had their alliance. Sometimes the grounders would bring extra food and sometimes the sky people would help them out with things that they didn’t understand. Everything was going well. 

Except Clarke was pissed. Like white hot pissed. Clarke had told Lexa she was ready. She had pulled her into her tent after the battle and told her that she was ready and she cared about her. Lexa had then proceeded to give her this bullshit speech about how a relationship wouldn’t work out. How her people needed her undivided attention right now. She would have to help rebuild, and visit the villages and deliver their people back to them from the mountain. She had told her that she had to lead with her head and not her heart so they couldn’t be together. 

It had been two months since Lexa had rode off after a simple “may we meet again.” She hadn’t heard a word from her or about her. And she was pissed. 

There was however a bit of a happy distraction in the form of Graham, one of the 100 who came out of the mountain. They hadn’t really ever talked before although she knew her from the time before her lock up on the Ark. Graham had been arrested shortly before Clarke for stealing extra rations for her sick mother. She had been broken hearted to find out that her mother had passed shortly after they were sent to the ground. 

It had started when Graham had shown an interest in studying medicine under Abby so she could help in the sick bay. She knew the winter was coming and that they would probably have a hard time getting through it since their bodies had never experienced weather before. Clarke also spent a lot of time with her mother helping out and learning as well. 

Abby had forgiven her and told her close to the same thing Octavia had told her. She had just had such a hard time seeing her daughter grow up and have to make such decisions. She had admitted that it was the right decision, but that in Clarke’s shoes she might not have been able to make it. She was proud of the strength in her daughter. But as her mother, she didn’t want her to have to be that strong. She didn’t want her to have to live with the decisions she had made. And that is why she had reacted the way she had. But things between them had never been better.

Graham was beautiful, there was no one that could miss that. She had long hair so black that it had a bluish tent to it. Her skin was fair and perfect, like porcelain. She had beautiful hazel eyes that seemed to change in shade with her moods. They would get so bright when she was excited or talking about something she was passionate about. Clarke was sure she could get lose in those eyes if she let herself. She was physically attracted, that much couldn’t be helped. But her heart wasn’t there. 

She knew that Graham was interested, she had told her as much about 2 weeks ago. They had only been spending time together for a few weeks at that time, but who was she to judge how fast someone developed feelings? Her and Lexa had only known each other for a matter of days. And she had some strong feelings for her. As irritating as that fact was right now. Clarke had told her that she just needed some time to sort out her feelings. 

Graham had known about the commander and Clarke. Everyone suspected, but when Graham asked her about it she didn’t lie. She had told her everything one night before Graham had told her about her feelings. They had stayed up late in the medical bay that night watching a child with a high fever letting Abby get some rest. It had felt so good to talk about it. She couldn’t say much to the others because they were in happy relationships and she didn’t need their pity. 

She knows she should be sleeping right now, she was due for a meeting about the coming winter early in the morning. But she couldn’t make her mind shut down enough for sleep to take her. She was worried about a lot of things. Mostly the cold season that was making its presence known more and more each day. The nights were getting longer and the daylight hours shorter. As soon as the sun goes down there’s a chill in the air. 

Raven and Wick had been working on some solar panels that had survived the crash to earth and were trying to figure out a way to use them to power heat in the ark. Bellamy and the other men were working day in and day out to try and reinforce the ark and weather proof it. Some of the men had talked about building houses and huts instead of using the Ark. They wouldn’t have time to get it done this season but maybe after the winter passes they can start building. Everyone was optimistic about the future. Everyone but Clarke. 

She had known nothing but conflict since she fell to the ground. She didn’t trust this peace, though she had no real reason not to. Maybe it was just her way of not letting herself get too comfortable. She has the mindset of hope for the best but prepare for the worst. She really needs to get some sleep. Maybe count mutant sheep or something. 

She wakes up to a knock at her door after what feels like minutes of sleep. 

“Get up sleepy head! The sky’s awake!” Came Graham’s way too cheery voice from the other side of the door. Clarke will never understand that girl’s love of mornings. But it does always end up putting her in a slightly better mood. Graham is better than Coffee. 

“Go away.” Her voice was muffled by the pillow she had buried her face into. She heard the door opening and knew she was about to be disrupted none too kindly.

“I tried being polite Goldie Locks, times up!” She dove on the bed and right on top of Clarke. 

Oomf was the very unattractive sound that came out of Clarke. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. The younger girl was very thin but had managed to land just right on Clarke’s back.

She shoved her off of her and sat up looking slightly murderous. “I’m up.” She deadpanned. “Get out so I can get dressed.”

“See you at breakfast grumpy pants!” Graham was still giggling as she shut the door behind her.

Clarke liked the girl, she really did, but sometimes she got on her nerves something fierce. Her irritation faded as she got dressed and she even gave her a smile as she walked to the table she was sitting at. “What’s on the menu today, Sunshine?” She looked at the brown mushy substance in the bowl suspiciously. 

“Oatmeal! Lincoln and Octavia found some wheat growing in a field nearby! It’s kind of plain, but Lincoln says that the grounders eat it with this stuff they make called honey and that he would see about trading for some for us. He said he can even have someone come teach the cooks how to use the wheat to make bread. BREAD!!! I’ve never had bread!!” She could barely contain her excitement. 

“It is too early for you to be this happy.” Clarke couldn’t help but smile at her anyways, her good moods were rather infectious. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to this meeting for me and let me go back to sleep?” She pleaded with her eyes, even knowing it wasn’t something that could actually be done. 

“Nope Skai Prisa, duty calls. But I’ll be in the medical bay when you’re done, you can come keep me company.” She looked so hopeful that it made Clarke’s heart clench. She noticed in the back of her mind that she had used the name that the grounders had started using for her. 

“Definitely, I’ll be there as soon as I can make a mad dash from the meeting room.” She said with as sincere of smile as she could manage.

Graham beamed in return and said her goodbyes so she could get to work. Clarke didn’t know what was wrong with her. Graham is a beautiful, intelligent, kind and caring girl. Lexa clearly wasn’t worried about Clarke so why was she still worried about her? She needed to move on and she has a great girl right in front of her waiting on her patiently. It’s time to let the Commander go. She made her message loud and clear, a relationship with her wasn’t possible. 

The meeting had dragged on, it was the same thing they had been talking about for weeks. The grounders had given them a lot of blankets but it wasn’t going to be enough if they couldn’t get a source of heat in the ark. Kane, Clarke, Bellamy, Wick, Raven, Octavia and Lincoln were all present. Bellamy was giving updates on the weather proofing and repairs being made to the ark. Raven and Wick were updating them on the progress with the solar panels and getting them to work with whatever systems were still intact after the drop to the ground. Octavia and Lincoln were talking about how much meat they had stored and the progress of the garden that the grounders had helped them start. Everything should be ready to pick soon and prepare for the winter. 

She couldn’t get out of there fast enough, the meeting just made her worrying worse. It didn’t help ease her mind like it should because none of them could tell her what she wanted to hear. Bellamy and the men weren’t done. Raven and Wick hadn’t figured it out yet. There was enough food but not enough blankets and clothes. It just all made her worry.

She was on her way to the medical bay to ask Graham if they could take a break and go talk somewhere when she heard the commotion at the entrance to camp. She could hear a little bit of what was being said. She gathered that grounders were approaching. Then she heard something that froze the blood in her veins momentarily. Commander.

Without thinking she took off for her room. She wasn’t ready to see her again. She wasn’t ready to speak to her again. She was mad, and hurt, and she didn’t want to see her. She would camp out in her room until she concluded whatever business brought her here and then she would leave again. She’s good at leaving. 

Her self-imposed solitude lasted all of about 20 minutes and she heard a knock on her door. 

“Goldie Locks?” She sounded nervous, shy almost. “Can I come in?”

Clarke felt her heart restart in relief that it wasn’t the commander at her door. She got up and opened it for her. She had been so ready just half an hour ago to tell her that she was interested too and that they should give it a shot. Now she wasn’t so sure. The pain that she had felt just knowing that the Commander is here let her know that she was far from over her feelings for Lexa. 

“What’s up snow white? Sorry I didn’t come see you, I just wanted to lie down for a while.” She tried to make the lie sound convincing. 

“Cut the shit, Griffin.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Did you really think I wouldn’t know that she’s here?” She scoffed. “Your mom sent me to find you, she figured you wouldn’t be too thrilled about this.”

Abby had also known the depth of Clarke’s feelings for Lexa, and about the rejection. 

“It’s been two months Graham, why is she here? I’m not ready to see her. I thought I was ready to move on. I thought I was ready for…” She couldn’t even finish. She shouldn’t give the girl hope. She shouldn’t even tell her that she was about to give her a chance. Because now she knew for sure that she wasn’t ready.

“Hey, it’s okay Clarke. No one can just shut their feelings off. Not even her. I wasn’t going to say anything, but she was looking for you.” Clarke could hear the pain in her voice. “I ran into Octavia on the way to your room and she told me that the first thing the Commander had done was ask about you.” Her voice got quieter as she spoke. 

Clarke knew that her heart was breaking in front of her. She knew that Graham was thinking that any chance she had was gone now that the Commander was back. She knew because it’s how she had felt when Raven arrived on Earth. She also knew that like that situation it couldn’t be helped. She didn’t ask to fall for Lexa, she didn’t ask for Graham to fall for her. She didn’t want any of this to happen. She didn’t want to be hurt, and she didn’t want to hurt this sweet, beautiful girl now sitting next to her. 

“I need you Graham.” It was the truth. “I need you to stay with me, especially while she’s here. You’re my best friend and I need you.” She didn’t want to make the girls pain worse, but she did need her. 

“I’ll be with you Clarke, I won’t leave your side.” She felt a warm hand over hers. She turned her hand over and threaded their fingers together. She loves Graham, she just wished it was in the way that Graham loves her. 

There was another small knock on the door and Abby peaked her head inside. “Clarke? We’re going to need you in a meeting.” She walked in and sat beside the girls on Clarke’s bed. “I’m so sorry sweetheart, I wish you didn’t have to see her, but we need you. She isn’t wanting to talk until you’re there.” 

Clarke felt Graham stiffen at the last part. “I’ll come if Graham can sit in. If not she can just kiss my ass and deal with it.”

“It’s your meeting honey, take whoever you like. I’ll see you there.” Her mother gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and her forehead a light kiss before she left the room. 

Clarke looked at Graham to see her staring at her with an unsure look in her eyes. “Ready sunshine?”

“Not particularly, no. But lead the way Princess.” She swept her hand out to say after you.

Clarke had a vice grip on Graham’s hand as they entered the meeting room. Lexa instantly looked up and as soon as she saw that the Sky Prisa wasn’t alone and that her hand was in someone else’s she gave new meaning to if looks could kill. Everyone noticed the change in the commander’s mood and looked to the door where she was shooting her murderous glare. 

Kane cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “Uh, Graham, shouldn’t you be in medic..”

“She stays. State your business and be done with it. I don’t wish to sit through another meeting today.” Clarke’s voice cut through the room like ice. She even felt Graham shudder a little next to her. 

Lexa looked for a moment like she had been slapped across the face. She had never seen Clarke this cold before and it took her off guard. She composed herself quickly and put her careful mask back in place.

“I have brought supplies for the winter. We all are in your debt for the help in the fall of the mountain. I have brought enough blankets for everyone here and some extra clothes and boots. I have been picking things up at the trading posts of every village we have visited. It should help you all make it safely through the winter. We will also be willing to assist you with food if needed.” Lexa didn’t expect a huge outpour of praise and thanks from the sky people but she didn’t expect what she got from Clarke.

“Thank you Commander for the supplies. My people will be very grateful. However, we will have plenty of food. We already have enough to last the winter stored up and if we have to we can hunt ourselves when we get low. We also have crops. They should be ready any day now and that will get us through.” She kept her tone icy and short. She didn’t want any help from the commander more than was absolutely necessary.

She was beyond grateful for the blankets and clothes, it was one less thing for her to worry about. But unless Lexa was going to fix the solar panels and weather proof the Ark there was nothing else that she could give Clarke. 

“If that’s all I’ll be leaving now. Thank you again for the help Commander and I hope you have safe travels to wherever you’re going next.” With that she stood up and walked out of the room with Graham still in tow. She left every person in the room in shock at her behavior. It wasn’t very leader like of her. It probably could be seen as immature. But she had to get out of there. 

She hadn’t made it halfway to her room when she heard the voice of a seething Commander calling her name. She could keep walking and anger her further but that would cause more trouble than it was worth. She stopped and turned around to see the usually composed leader stomping furiously in her direction. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? We weren’t finished Clarke! You can’t just walk out on me like that!” Lexa is pissed. 

“Oh can’t I? Or is that just something reserved for you. Are you the only one allowed to walk away Commander? I was done with the meeting, I don’t really care if you were or not. Handle your business with Kane and Bellamy, I’m done.” Clarke’s emotions were warring inside her. One side of her was a hurt 18 year old girl and the other side was absolutely livid. 

How dare her come back and think that they would be okay. Clarke thanked her for the supplies, she can handle everything else with the other council members. 

Lexa was having none of it, as soon as Clarke turned to leave she grabbed her arm and jerked her around. This proved to be a mistake because as Clarke was whirled around her arm came around just as fast and connected with Lexa’s jaw. Before Graham even had time to process the first hit the two leaders were in a full on brawl on the ground. It took about 45 seconds for Lexa to come out on top pinning Clarke’s hands to her chest to keep the angry girl from swinging again. 

Clarke shoved with all of the power she could summon and got the Commander off of her. She got to her feet and stormed off grabbing Graham’s hand along the way and dragging her with her. Lexa didn’t follow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second half of my two shot. I may continue it in the future but it will be after my other two fics are finished. I don’t want to delay those updates any more than I have to by adding another chapter fic in. So I’ll leave this one in a good place but I won’t leave it in a way that doesn't allow for future continuation if I decide to go that route. Enjoy!

Clarke didn’t speak the whole way to her room. She just slammed the door shut behind them and left Graham standing awkwardly just inside the room. She sat on her bed and seethed. She didn’t even think that what Lexa had done was serious enough for the amount of anger she felt. She knew in her head, which was definitely smarter than her heart, that Lexa was doing what she had to do. But her heart was pissed. Why did Lexa kiss her before the battle? Why did she let her think she cared if she was just going to back away and leave her with her heart in tatters? 

She knows that if she wasn’t so emotionally invested in the situation, her rational side would understand. But she had fallen for the Commander. No matter what she had told herself or let herself believe, she had fallen. She had slowly watched herself crack Lexa’s walls. She had watched herself be let in little by little. She had thought that she had meant something to her. She must have been wrong. And that’s why she is so angry.

Graham came to sit beside her on the bed taking her hand in hers. Clarke isn’t even sure what came over her, and she wasn’t really in control of her actions, her emotions were. She was kissing Graham before she even really knew what she was doing. All she knew was that her heart was open and raw and she needed to feel something. 

There was a tiny voice in the very back of her mind trying its hardest to scream at her that this was wrong, that she would only hurt Graham. That voice just couldn’t get loud enough to break through her raging emotions. Another voice could though.

“Clarke, no. This isn’t right. Not like this.” Graham said as she pulled away and lowered her eyes to the floor.

Clarke felt white hot shame coursing through her veins. How could she do that? She knows how the other girl feels. And she knows that Graham knows how she feels about Lexa. How could she be so heartless? 

“Graham…..” She couldn’t meet her eyes. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to…” She couldn’t even speak anymore.

“You love her, Clarke…” She said quietly, but with understanding. “You love her and she left you. You’re angry. You’re hurt. And you didn’t mean this. Not really..” Clarke could hear the pain in her voice.

“I love you too Graham… I do..” She needed her to understand how much she meant to her. Even if it wasn’t in the way she might wish. 

“I know Clarke, I know you do.” She gently took Clarke’s chin in her fingers and turned her to meet her eyes. “I understand. It hurts, but it’s just the way of life. You and Lexa had these feelings before I ever knew more than your name. It’s okay. I have you as my best friend and I’m okay with that.” What could Clarke possibly have done to deserve this girl’s affections? 

“You are far better of a person than I deserve in my life Snow White.” She wiped at her tears. “Look at me, I’m a mess and acting like a child. Can we hide out in her for a while longer before I go try to make up for my horrible behavior?” 

She’s not sure what to even say to Lexa, but she knows she needs to apologize. If for nothing else, they might actually need her this winter and they definitely didn’t need them as an enemy. Especially over something like Clarke’s temper and bitterness. 

“Absolutely Goldie. Read to me for a while?” She looked so hopeful, it was adorable. Apparently Graham loved Clarke’s voice when she read. She asked for stories quite often.

“Of course. Any requests?” Her collection was still small, but pretty good. 

“Surprise me.” She would settle for anything Clarke read.

Clarke walked over to the corner where her makeshift book shelf was and froze, finally really noticing the change in her room. There were 3 new stacks of books sitting neatly beside her shelf, and they hadn’t been there when she had left earlier. Her heart jumped and her stomach clenched when her mind went to the only person that these books could have come from.

“Graham?” She hummed in response, laying lazily on the bed. “I had a visitor when we were at the meeting. They came bearing gifts.”

That got the girls attention, she was standing by Clarke in the blink of an eye. “At least you know she was thinking about you as much as you were thinking about her while she was gone. Let’s see if there are any good ones!” If she was still upset she didn’t show it. Clarke envied her way of bouncing back and accepting situations. 

There was a series about someone named Harry Potter. Some historical texts. Several novels with absurdly attractive nearly naked people on the faded covers. A Holy Bible. A book on the study of religion. And several more books with blank covers. Clarke couldn’t even act like she wasn’t happy about the books. She was thrilled to pieces. She needs to go see Lexa.

“Go on Clarke, I’ll pick one of your new books and keep myself busy reading, or finally let Monroe teach me how to play basketball. You need to talk to her. You guys have an insane amount of unnecessary anger between you.” It was as if she had read Clarke’s mind. 

Clarke just gave her a grateful but sad smile and a tight, soul comforting hug. 

She stood at the gate of Camp Jaha for at least 5 minutes staring at the grounders camp, and the largest tent, just outside of the wall. She didn’t even hear Octavia walk up beside her.

“I really don’t think they will appreciate you burning a hole in their Commander’s tent, least of all the Commander herself.” She was smirking at blonde. “Just go on chicken shit. This is overdue.” Her eyes soften a bit. “You’ll be fine, Clarke.” She gave her shoulder a nudge and walked away.

She figured she would stop stalling and go on in, if they even let her in. For all she knows Lexa could have given the guards orders to kill her on site after her ridiculous attack earlier. It wasn’t like Clarke to lose control of her emotions like that. Lexa has a habit of making her mind go in a million different directions. 

She was extremely surprised when the Guard immediately stepped aside when she approached the Commander’s tent. He didn’t look the least bit surprised to see her. She inhaled a big breath trying to get her bearings before entering.

“Just come in Clarke.” She sounded emotionless. How the fuck did she know it was her standing out there?

She walked in to see her laying in her bed. The thought crossed her mind that she would probably have never let someone else come in with her in such a vulnerable position. Although she’s never truly vulnerable, she probably had at least two weapons within immediate reach.

“We have discussed how stealthy you aren’t Clarke. Also, my guards wouldn’t have let anyone else that close to my tent.” Can she read minds like Graham? Or is she just that obvious about her thoughts? “Have you come to give me a matching bruise on the left side of my jaw?”

Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat. These words wouldn’t come out easily. “Actually, I came to.. apologize.” The last word tasted bitter in her mouth. “And thank you for the books. It will be nice for us to have a change of reading.” She could have kicked herself in the throat for saying “us” as opposed to “me”. 

Lexa’s sudden glare as she sat up straight proved that it hadn’t gone unnoticed. “”Who is she to you?” Let’s cut right to the chase then, shall we? Jeez..

“She’s a friend. My best friend. She’s been my rock these last two months.” It’s the truth. 

Clarke was met with silence. Standing there while the commander sat on her bed studying her face was awkward. She felt like she was being examined. She was curious about the bruise she had left on her face but didn’t dare look. She didn’t want to meet those eyes, she could feel them strong enough. 

Lexa stood in one swift motion and was walking towards her. She gently lifted her chin to look her in the face. Clarke would rather be swallowed by the floor than have to look into those green eyes that she loved so much. She didn’t have much of a choice though. As soon as they locked eyes Clarke felt it all. All of the emotions she had been hiding from. Her chest was tight and her stomach was fluttering.

“She cares for you.” It wasn’t a question, and she saw the truth in Clarke’s guilty eyes. “Do you return the affections?” Anyone else would have missed the hint of pain in the question. Clarke did not.

“Not in the way she hopes.” It was barely a whisper. She didn’t have to explain anything to Lexa, but a part of her wanted her to know. She needed her to know that her heart wasn’t available for anyone else. She stepped back and looked at her feet again, afraid of revealing too much with her eyes. She wasn’t over Lexa leaving, not even close. 

“You left me, Lexa.” She couldn’t keep it in anymore. Although it didn’t come out as strong as she had hoped. She just sounded a little broken, and still didn’t make eye contact.

“I had to Clarke.” At least it didn’t sound like this was any easier for her to talk about. “My duties as the Commander don’t stop for feelings, not even yours.” 

Clarke felt a spark ignite in her blood. That pissed her off. Her glare snapped right up to meet the Commander’s face. She, for a moment, really considered making her bruise a matching set. 

“I never asked for anything from you Commander. But if you knew nothing could come of it you should have left well enough alone. YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE KISSED ME!” So much for a calm conversation. “Thanks again for the books. Have a good night.”

It felt like déjà vu when she felt herself being whirled around to face the commander. But instead of swinging fists she was met with desperate lips with one hand in her hair and the other around her neck. Clarke felt all of her anger dissolve. She was sure that it would resurface later, but for now it was gone. She kissed back with all of the feelings she had been burying. She had missed her so much. She had been imagining their second kiss since the moment she had pulled away from their first. Lexa tasted minty, Clarke hoped she remembered to ask what the grounders use as a mouth cleanser, but that was the smallest thing on her mind. 

Their tongues were in a fight for dominance, their lips moving with bruising force. Hands were roaming and suddenly Clarke felt suffocated by all of her clothes. She pulled away to pull her ratty shirt over her head and throw it across the room, Lexa followed her lead. 

Both girls erupted in a fit of giggles when Clarke got tangled in her pants because she was in such a rush and nearly fell over. Once they were stripped down to nothing but undergarments they found each other again and resumed their teenage make-out session. It got a lot more adult when Lexa started backing Clarke up to the bed and unhooked her bra, pulling it off before pushing her down on the bed. 

Lexa climbed on top of Clarke and stared down at her naked chest. Clarke felt beautiful under the Commander’s expression. She was being looked at like priceless artwork, like a wonder of the world. She had never been looked at like that before. Finn was the only person who had ever seen her breasts and he didn’t take the time to really pay attention. 

Her breath caught and any thoughts she had were wiped away when she felt a warm mouth on one nipple and fingers lightly pinching the other. She didn’t even recognize the sound that she made. Lexa let out a moan in response to hers and increased her suction swirling her tongue around the little peak in the process. 

Clarke tangled her fingers in Lexa’s waves and braids and held on tight. This was like nothing she experienced with Finn. She hated to make comparisons but with exactly one other sexual encounter she couldn’t really help it. With Finn it had been all about needing to feel something other than the hopeless desperation they were feeling. There had been no foreplay, they had went right into it. Right now she felt like she was being truly cared for. 

She let out a small gasp when Lexa switched sides and treated her nipple to the sweet torture she had subjected the other one to. 

Clarke knew she was ready, she could feel the sticky wet mess that had taken over between her thighs. She needed to be touched, she needed to feel. Not just feel, she needed to feel Lexa. She needed to feel this girl that she had fallen in love with. She needed more, and she needed it now. 

“Lexa” it came out as a moan. Lexa lifted her head to look at Clarke waiting to see what she needed. “Touch me, Lexa. Please.” She held eye contact showing her that there was no uncertainty. 

“As you wish.” She kissed her then, softly and sweetly. Clarke felt fingers ghosting over her thigh, gently caressing higher and higher, then sliding into her underwear. 

She gasped into the kiss when she first felt two fingers running up and down her entrance, her back arched when they reached her clit and applied pressure. Lexa didn’t seem to need any more encouragement and she started rubbing slow circles on her clit, applying more pressure bit by bit. 

Clarke had never felt anything like this before. Of course she had touched herself, a year in solitary got boring. But this was something else entirely. Every inch of skin that Lexa touched lit on fire. She was sure that she was going to burn from the inside out and she couldn’t find it in herself to mind. This was the most exquisite burn she had ever felt. 

“Lexa.” She moaned out again. Once again Lexa looked at her waiting instruction. “I need you inside me, right now.” She was all but begging. Lexa had lit the fuse and it had been burning and was about to explode. 

She felt lips kissing down her neck and sucking on her pulse point. Then she felt the absence of fingers on her clit. She only felt the absence for a moment before she felt fingers easing into her. She bit down on Lexa’s stomach to stop herself from moaning too loud and alerting everyone in both camps to their activities. 

Lexa’s fingers found a steady pace and she swallowed Clarke’s moans with her kisses. She was arching her back and leaving finger nail tracks across Lexa’s shoulders. She undid the back of Lexa’s chest binding and tossed it aside. She released Lexa’s bottom lip so she could take in the Commander’s naked upper body. Lexa was beautiful. She had a firm tan stomach and soft round breasts that sit just right on her chest. Clarke licked her bottom lip and Lexa leaned down and took it between her teeth in response.

Seeing Lexa’s body had only turned Clarke on more, she was so close now. She needed her release. She reached for Lexa’s hand and helped push her inside herself harder and faster. When Lexa was going at a satisfactory pace Clarke could feel herself beginning to come apart.

She arched her back and dug her nails into her lover’s shoulder blades as her walls clenched onto Lexa’s fingers and didn’t want to let go. She buried her face into the other girls chest in hopes of preventing everyone within 10 miles from hearing her orgasm, but she wasn’t sure it mattered. 

Lexa slowly pulled her fingers from inside Clarke, letting her come down from her peak. Clarke felt the emptiness immediately and hated it. She felt Lexa’s arms come around her and hold her close, but she wasn’t done. She had absolutely zero experience with another woman, but now was as good a time as any to learn. 

She detangled herself from Lexa’s arms and legs and got a questioning worried look from the girl below her. Clarke was nervous, like beyond it. Lexa clearly knew how to please a woman, very well at that. Clarke was so afraid of delivering a pitiful performance in comparison. But she wanted this, she needed it. She needed to be intimate with Lexa in every way. And that meant returning the favor. 

“I want you to feel me now.” She said with every bit of uncertainty she felt coming through in her voice. “I want to know every part of you.”

“Clarke… You don’t have to.” She reached up to cup a blushing cheek. “I promise, I don’t expect anything from you that you aren’t ready for.”

Clarke thought about it for a second. Was she ready for this? She was still so hurt about Lexa leaving. But she knew what her feelings were. She knew she loved her. She knew she missed her. She knew she wanted her. She was sure. She was ready. 

“I’m ready Lexa. I’m ready to give myself to you and I want to have you too. Please?”

Lexa smiled the most loving smile Clarke had ever seen. She pulled her down for a sweet, deep kiss and then smiled and nodded her consent. Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to fight the butterflies that were absolutely ravaging her stomach. She thought about where to start and what she wanted to do. She decided to imitate what Lexa had done to her and feel it out from there.

She knew that she really needed to stop thinking before she ruined everything. She closed her eyes and lowered her hand and slid under Lexa’s underwear until she felt wet warmth. Her breath hitched and she froze. 

“Clarke, look at me. I want to see your eyes.” How did she do that with her voice? It was like a trigger and Clarke was wet in the netherlands again. She took a steadying breath and complied. She wasn’t prepared for what she saw. 

Lexa was flushed and her eyes were boring into Clarke’s as she bit her bottom lip. She had the sexiest expression on her face that Clarke had ever seen. It was all the courage Clarke needed. She tugged at Lexa’s underwear until Lexa rose up to make it easier to get them off. She found her clit and started rubbing in slow circles like Lexa had done. She saw the commander struggle to keep her eyes open as her back arched slightly off of the bed. She let out a small gasp, but it seemed she was going to be more in control of her vocals than the blonde. 

After a minute of the circling and exploring Lexa started to squirm. Clarke knew that she wouldn’t voice her needs and desires, she knew that she would let Clarke experience this her way. She had noticed though, so she decided to enter two fingers. She was met with a small moan of surprise and nails on her back. 

It wasn’t the same as when she had done this to herself. She was going in at a different angle and the feeling of walls tightening around her fingers and letting go was enough to start a flood between her own thighs. She remembered that Lexa had curled her fingers upwards to find that spot that made Clarke come up off of the bed. 

She curled her fingers and found a soft spongy spot that had Lexa arching her back all the way up and drawing blood on Clarke’s back. Clarke worked that spot, satisfied that she had found it so soon. She thrust into her slowly at first, always curling her fingers up to find the sweet spot. Lexa was letting out beautiful moans and gasps as Clarke started thrusting into her faster and harder.

“Clllllarke” She moaned out and Clarke could feel her walls start to tighten around her fingers, tighter this time. “Don’t stop, please don’t stop.” She said between moans.

Clarke didn’t stop, she picked up her pace until Lexa shattered beneath her. She held still inside her until she felt her breathing even out. She looked at Lexa to find an expression of wonder looking back up at her. In a moment of bravado she brought her fingers to her lips and sucked them clean. She felt her lover’s breath hitch beneath her. 

It was like nothing she had ever tasted before. It wasn’t sweet, or salty, it was just Lexa, and she loved it. She didn’t know she had it in her until her head was moving lower, never losing eye contact with the wide eyed Commander.

She broke eye contact to look at what was spread out before her. She held her breath for a moment taking in the new sight before her. She knew then and there that there was nothing more beautiful than a woman’s body. She was finally for the first time seeing what she had been feeling. She could see the little nub sticking out from under its hood. 

She tentatively flicked her tongue over it, feeling out the experience. Judging by Lexa’s sharp intake of breath she was on the right track. She stuck her tongue out again and ran it from the bottom of her slit to the top where her clit was. She lingered on the clit running her tongue around it in circles. She was feeling more confident with every gasp and moan from the girl writhing under her. 

She flattened her tongue and put pressure on her clit moving her tongue up and down over it. Then she just let her tongue explore the folds. She nearly got bucked off when she sucked on her clit. She was going off nothing but instinct and what Lexa had done. She decided to try something and added a finger inside while she was flicking her tongue over Lexa’s clit. 

That seemed to do the trick because she came a moment later, squeezing Clarke’s finger in a vice grip and shaking and trembling beneath her. She was sure that several people heard that one. She was proud of that, not that she was proud of being proud of that. 

Lexa used what strength she had left in her spent body and pulled Clarke up for a kiss. She kissed her like she was some treasure. “Clarke, you are possibly the most amazing person I’ve ever known.” She had to say it slowly, still trying to catch her breath. 

Clarke blushed beet red and buried her face into her lover’s neck. They stayed like that for a few minutes, catching their breath and calming their bodies down. Lexa was drawing lazy patterns across Clarke’s back while she was laying on her chest. 

It wasn’t too long before Lexa turned them both on their sides and smiled at Clarke’s expression. She laid Clarke on her back and hovered over her. She looked down at the sky girl’s underwear and hooked a finger inside the waist band. “May I?” Clarke nodded and she pulled them off. She looked in wonder at what she saw. Clarke had never felt more beautiful. “Now it is I who will know all of you.” 

They didn’t come up for air until the sun was rising and the sounds of morning could be heard around the temporary camp. They got dressed around kisses and touches and smiles. Clarke was happy, happier than she had been since before her dad found that God forsaken flaw in the Ark. She thought of Graham and for a moment her happiness turned into guilt. But she couldn’t feel guilty. She knew Graham understood. Loving Clarke was a hopeless cause before they even started getting close. 

Lexa had laid a claim on her heart faster than she thought was possible. Weren’t these things supposed to take time? Lots of time? At least that’s what all of her old romance novels had told her. Lexa had come into her life with her harsh ways of justice and her cold heart and turned Clarke’s world upside down. It had only taken Lexa days to work her way into Clarke’s head, and not much longer to work her way into her heart. 

“Ready to face the day Sky Girl?” Lexa said as she took her hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze. 

“As ready as I ever am Tree Girl.” She returned with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. “But please don’t think that we are done with why you left me making me think that you just don’t care. I simply don’t wish to ruin our first morning after magic.”

“Oh Clarke, I didn’t think for even a second that I was off the hook.” She said with a fond smile. “Later. Now we need breakfast. Shall we eat with your people this morning?” She looked mischievous. Clarke saw right through her.

“Flaunting me in front of Graham is childish and pointless Lexa. But yes, we can eat breakfast in the camp.” She gave her girl a deep kiss. “She has known all along that I belonged to you. She is a sweet girl, a good soul, don’t dislike her because of feelings that she couldn’t help. She is hurting because of me. I need for you to tell me that you won’t make it worse. I’m yours. I have been yours since the moment I met you.” She hoped Lexa could see the sincerity in eyes at the words she spoke.

“You have my word Clarke. After all, how can I fault her for loving you when I myself am hopelessly in the same situation?” Clarke froze and her eyes popped open at the Commander’s admission. She knew she loved Lexa, but she had never prepared herself to hear that Lexa loved her back. The warmth in her chest was a beautiful comforting feeling and she couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face.

“I love you too, Lexa.” She reached for one more kiss before they exited the tent together hand in hand.

Clarke couldn’t help the blush that spread across her cheeks and neck furiously when the guards gave her a knowing smirk. She needed to get away from there as fast as possible. It was no use though, every warrior that they passed had the same smirk on their faces. They had all heard since the camp wasn’t very large. It was just her traveling party. None of them were very far from her tent. She put some pep in her step until they reached the gates of Jaha. 

Lexa had laughed quietly when she realized why Clarke was in such a hurry to get inside the gate and away from the grounders. Clarke failed to see the humor in the situation. “You certainly weren’t concerned with people hearing last night, Clarke.” 

“I was too distracted to give it proper thought, Lexa. They all heard us! It’s humiliating.” Her blush still hadn’t vacated her face.

“It’s natural Clarke, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Unless being with me brings you shame?” There was no insecurity in her voice, she knew this wasn’t the case.

“You know better than that Commander. I have the best catch of the 12 clans. I managed to snag the Commander.” Clarke said with a proud grin. Lexa just laughed and held her hand tighter as they walked into the camp.

Clarke looked around at her people. She saw Octavia and Raven smirking heavily and talking in her and Lexa’s direction. Fantastic. That was going to be a fun conversation. She saw breakfast being served, more oatmeal and some sweet root vegetables they had grown. She looked over to the makeshift basketball court that had been drawn in the dirt after the mountain kids had brought a basketball and goals with them. 

She stopped to look at the figures on the court. It was Graham and Monroe. Monroe was standing behind Graham showing her how to shoot the ball properly. She could tell that Monroe was happy with the close proximity to her friend, she wondered if Graham was enjoying it herself. She knew that her feelings for her wouldn’t go away overnight, but she hoped that she would be able to move on. 

Almost as if sensing her stare across the court Graham turned to look at her. She noticed the pair holding hands and Lexa went to let go but Clarke held tighter. Graham gave her a beautiful genuine smile and nodded. She would be okay. Clarke felt a weight lift off of her chest and she smiled back. They would be okay.

Clarke smiled all the way to the breakfast table. She didn’t stop smiling until she had to use her mouth to eat her oatmeal. Lexa took one bite and grimaced. She immediately called to one of her guards that were hanging back to go to her tent and fetch some honey. It was the most delicious thing Clarke had ever tasted, with the exception of the goddess sitting across from her. 

She knew Lexa was going to have to leave again, and maybe she would go with her. But for now everything was finally right. Everyone was happy. Clarke was happy. She would think about the future later. Right now she just wanted to get back to the tent with her girlfriend and make the guards blush like they had her. 

“Clarke? Are you alright?” Lexa asked with concern. “You look flustered.”

Clarke just gave her a sultry smile and rubbed a knee between thighs under the table. “Just thinking about some things is all. I’m alright.”

Lexa’s breath hitched and she knew immediately what things Clarke was thinking about. “I think I’ve had my fill. Shall you show me to your living quarters? Maybe we can read some of your new books?” She asked with an expression that told Clarke she had zero interest in any books. 

“Right this way Commander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut is new to me, so it might not be up to some of your standards and I apologize. I really just wanted to make it realistic. Clarke has never seen a woman's vagina. The only one shes touched is hers. This is all new to her. I wanted to do her first experience justice. I was beyond nervous my first time too and It was all instinct. Feeling it out and gauging reactions from your partner. I hope it was good! Like I said, I will probably come back to this in the future. Unless I don't see it going anywhere but where its at. Thanks for reading!


End file.
